Let me introduce myself.

Hi.

My name is Lauren, and I've had this blog since I was fourteen years old. Since then a lot has happened, and I ashamed of how I've neglected this sweet little textbox in the past. I've expelled all of my deepest secrets, acted vulnerable and crazy, bitched and moaned...and no one deserves that. I realize that's just a part of growing up, but when you're doing it in front of the Internet, it's always best to keep yourself out of hot water, but I haven't always done that. So what I'm asking you to do is clear your mind for a moment and let me re-introduce myself to you, the way I want to be known here. Ready?

I'm sixteen years old, the proud owner of two dogs and a beat-up old Nissan Sedan with more dents in it than Dumbledore's nose. Coincedentally, said car is named Albus for this very reason.

My best friend lives just outside of Los Angeles, California, and I'm just outside of Washington, DC. If you're bad at geography or can't quite conceptualize what that means, basically it sucks and I miss her. Her name is Madison and she has pretty blond hair and tells funny jokes. She is the Amy Poehler to my Tina Fey and, well...what can I say? She's kind of my favorite.

I want to study English and Secondary Education in college, working towards teaching 9th grade. I'd much prefer to make a career for myself writing books, but my parents insist I be practical with their hard-earned money once I embark upon the world of higher education, so teaching is my shelf life.

Jo Rowling changed my life in ways one can only begin to conceptualize if they've read Harry Potter.

I have inappropriate celebrity crushes on Seth Meyers, Bradley Cooper, Jake Gyllenhaal etc etc...but Justin Bieber/One Direction/famous young men my own age are just not cuttin' it.

My physics teacher was made by the Devil. He keeps a stuffed animal walrus in the classroom and talks to it; his name is Chubbs...the walrus, not the teacher. What this tells you about me is that I'm terrible at science and math, and also that one of my biggest pet-peeves is when someone fails to complete tasks that are compulsory for their given profession, ie: teachers that do not teach.

I think I might have severe anxiety, because when I walk to my car alone, even in broad daylight, I hold my car key between my fingers so I can stab people in the eye if they try to attack me.

It's 10:43 PM and my homework is not done. I'm taking two AP exams in the next few weeks.

...

So, that's that. If you like me, stick around, and re-introduce yourself in the comments, since it's been FOREVER since I've been here. I promise I'll be back soon-ish.

Until next time,
Lauren

What does SAT even stand for?

Oh hey there. It's been exactly two months since I've even attempted a blog post, so now I imagine you're all expecting a bunch of apologies and excuses. Well, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm really not, guys. Take that as you will, but I just genuinely felt in a complete and total rut, and if I were to publish any posts, they would be scrappy and crappy, and no one should have to read that. But either way, I'm back now, because the idea of homework and studying and planning college visits is stressing me out too much, so instead of being responsible and powering through my AP US History reading, I will instead expel my white girl problems upon you.

First off, the busiest time of the year is stretching at the starting line, ready to sprint off the minute it hears anything at all resembling a gunshot. The musical at my school starts rehearsals on Tuesday, my SATs are six days away, my mother is constantly nagging me to do college research, and my job tutoring two small children in writing and basic grammar is still being excessively demanding. But you know what, guys? I freaking love it. Okay, maybe not memorizing SAT vocab, and definitely not reasoning with a kindergartner to learn his nouns and adjectives, but just feeling as though I have an overall purpose in life feels good. Maybe I do stand in the background and have no real merit in the musical, but when I walk down the hallway and see fellow castmembers, it feels...like I'm on a team or that I have a reason to be at school instead of just homeschooling in my pajamas. For all the other months of the year, we lead completely different lives, with different friend groups and different interests, but from March to May, we pull together and make it work. Is that cheesy? Do I sound like Troy Bolton? Whatever.

I'm supposed to be studying with my mom right now for what she calls a "study party", AKA just a mindly pathetic excuse to get her work done while I do my homework so she doesn't have to suffer alone, but I just can't be bothered. I'm well aware that in order to do well and not flunk out of my junior year, I need to focus like crazy and work for what I want, but it's days like these where I just almost expect good grades to fall into my lap. But hey, that's life, and eventually I'm going to have to force myself to read and take notes on the precursors to World War II, unfortunately. I don't know how my mother does it; that woman is just so able to buckle down and get shit done, mostly because she's the busiest person I know and she needs all the time she can get, but still, it's impressive and a gene I wish I had inherited.

I guess I should go get shit done, on that note. The sooner I study and read my textbook, the sooner I can watch reality TV and fetch myself a burrito.

Until next time,
Lauren

Have I Always Been This Annoying?

Happy 2012, readers! It's been a while, hasn't it? Here, to make up for lost time, let's just bring it in for a hug! Oh, what's that you say? You're not into physical affection? Fine, but you're missing out, because I give great hugs.

Anyway, it admittedly has been a while, and for good reason. School is stressful, people are annoying, and the constellation of acne forming on the side of my face are the proof, unfortunately. Since we last spoke, I obtained my driver's licence, broke my Macbook, cried over stupid things that no longer matter, read Tina Fey's book, got the aforementioned Macbook fixed, and started to cement my plans for LeakyCon...so you haven't missed much. Hopefully things will wind down soon and I get the chance to blog a lot more frequently, but to be honest, it seems as though things are going to keep on truckin' at full speed ahead. A busy schedule is a double-edged sword, because on one hand it's awesome and leaves me feeling fulfilled in life, but on the other it leaves me less time to do the things I really enjoy. We'll keep marchin' on, though, and I'll just blog as frequently as I can. I miss the days when I could just write on this thing as often as I wanted, due to the fact that I pretty much never did anything.

Speaking of those days when the blog was fresh, I was so freaking annoying! Dear God, I was just reading through some of my old posts in an attempt to be reflective and think about how much has changed over this year, but all I found was that I am a total straight-edge loser fangirl, or at least I write like one. And this isn't some terrible attempt to get anyone you say, "NO! Lauren, you're a great blogger and you always have been!", because I know that isn't true. I can't decide wheter I want to delete or savor a few of the cringe-worthy excerpts I've found,which range in topics from nail polish to how much I love Kristina Horner, but either way it's good to have them so that whenever I feel like I'm a shitty writer and I'll never amount to anything, I can remind myself that I've already grown a lot. But god, I really have embarrassed myself on the internet a shitload of times without even realizing it until much later.

I'm going to keep going through my old posts and I promise to be back soon, I mean that! Especially because this is the year that I track my Chipotle consumption, I've decided, and where else to put the number but on my blog? I'm not just going to track every time I eat/finish a burrito specific, because that doesn't always happen, so instead I'm just keeping track of the amount of times I've been there as a whole.

Until next time,
Lauren

Chipotle count: 0. What even?

Free Wifi

Hello, friends! I am currently blogging to you from the Starbucks inside my local Barnes and Noble, sipping on a Pumpkin Spice Latte with my MacBook open...yes, I realize that I do in fact look like a total moron. I'm okay with that though, because at least I'm not the 13-year-old girl sitting two tables away from who is flicking through a People magazine dedicated to Breaking Dawn...at least if anyone asks, I can say I'm working on my novel...or rather, *was* working on my novel.

Speaking of which, NaNoWriMo is going quite well, in fact, I hit over 10,000 words last night! I shouldn't be too excited this early on, seeing as week one isn't even more yet, but I am honestly much more confident in this story than I was in the plot (or lack thereof) I had going for me last year. I'm actually excited to write, and even though yesterday I had a bit of a crisis as I struggled with how to start my next chapter, once I typed out a few sentences into my Word document, my fingers were flying across the keyboard with rapid speed as I got more ideas. And I know, that's not what you want to hear if you're struggling to reach your 1667 every day, but if it's any consulation, I was in your shoes last year. The first year is always the hardest, as I think you learn more about yourself as a person than you do the art of writing a book. But regardless, I would love it if any of you that are doing NaNoWriMo leave some feedback in the comments, of better yet, leave any questions or advice you might need. I'm certainly not an expert, but I do think I can help tackle a few gripes. I actually got an email the other day from a girl named Claire (hi, Claire!) asking me for help, and I think it went quite well, so if you're interested, I'd love to do some sort of NaNoAdvice post.

I hope those of you that aren't writing a novel this month are doing well too, with whatever else may be taking up your time. Trust me, I know what it's like to feel totally swamped, what with the two AP classes I (stupidly) decided to take on this year and all of my extracurriculars, but just remember to stay positive, even when I know it's totally difficult. I'm having a really difficult time with school too, trust me; I lost one of my binders sometime during the course of the week, which sucks major because it holds all of my course material for physics and precalculus...plus some embarrassing notes me and my friend Julia wrote during class, so.

Alright, well I think I should go. I just purchased a book called "Harry Potter and Philosophy", which looks really interesting, as it talks about things like the abstract idea of souls and the morality of a love potion...basically it really gets my nerdgasms goin'. Sexy. Anyways, I'd like to read it now while I still have about 40 more minutes to spare before my mom comes to pick me up...I'm getting my license in about a month, and OH MY GOD, the day can't come soon enough.

Until next time,
Lauren

NaNoWriMo, Amanda Sternklar, and Creative Writing 2

Hi guys. Remember when I used to blog from my Creative Writing class? Well, seeing as I've enrolled into Creative Writing TWO, the tradition's going to continue for another year. I hope you're excited, or y'know...reading this. Even if you're just reading this, that'll suffice.

So, first order of business: I AM doing NaNoWriMo. I'm a bit nervous to take on another project, but I have a novel idea in mind that I really want to pursue, and what better time than November to do so? Basically, the story in my head is a YA Novel, as per usual, and I'm writing from the perspective of a male protagonist, which is new and a bit scary, but if John Green can do it, I sure as hell can too. I don't want to give too much away, but it's a lot about the dynamics of teenage relationships and how fear can impact them. I will say that the girl in the novel, Sarah, is loosely based off of my commitment issues, which means writing about her will either be really therapeutic or really difficult, as I need to sort of analyze myself in order to do the story justice. If you're doing NaNo as well, please add me as a writing buddy, my username is laurenmaryy. I don't want to settle for anything less than a winner's certificate, and I will read Breaking Dawn cover to cover before I will admit to failure. If you're on the fence, just DO IT. Even if you don't finish, that's still a couple thousand words that you wouldn't have written otherwise. If school gets too hectic or you turn into a hermit, feel free to abandon your word processor and go get a life, but I would always encourage just writing. You feel so complete and accomplished if you win, and even if you lose, as I said, you've accomplished something not many other people have. But now I'm just rambling...next order of business.

I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to a friend of mine, Amanda Sternklar, who is so, so talented and adorable. I listen to her song "Don't Write Love Songs" pretty much every day in class; it's the perfect perky, sweet ukelele tune. I really just needed to let you all know, and also direct you to her channel, youtube.com/skywriter11. From there, you can access her bandcamp page to buy her music, which I HIGHLY recommend.

Alright, well even though this was a bit short, I think I'm going to go. I hope to see you all fresh and ready to go on Tuesday. Gah, did November really come this fast?!

Until next time,
Lauren

PS: Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is go to http://www.bencracknell.blogspot.com and leave Ben comments saying he's letting me down by not blogging every day this week. I look forward to this stuff, and he's ruining everything. Just a casual "yo slut, write a blog post" works great, but feel free to be more forceful if you'd like ;)

Oh, hey guys, didn't see you there.

I am the worst procrastinator. I put off doing work until the last possible minute, and I don't even know why. I feel so good and productive when I finish all of my homework, clean my room, and shower before 8 PM, but let's face it: that seldom happens. But the good thing about it is when I procrastinate from things I should be doing, I spend my time doing other things of a lower priority I should be doing instead, hence the blog post. It's kind of like I'm productive...kind of.

So anyway, HI GUYS! It's been ages, hasn't it? Omigosh, you've grown! What are you know, 5'8''? You're just growing up too fast! No but seriously, it has been almost two months, and that's not okay. I don't want to be annoying and blame my absence on school, but it's the honest truth. Who knew AP classes could be so time consuming?

Speaking of school, I'm glad I'm settling into my niche. My grades are a little bit slippery at the moment, all covered in baby oil and sliding off of the B- platform, but I'm trying my best to pull them back in so they don't go all awry on me. I'm finally getting better at AP Lang, which is something to be said for, because it sure didn't start that way. I feel much more confident in my abilities now that my English teacher is handing back essays with a smile on her face instead of folding them up and placing them on my desk face-down so she didn't have to humiliate me in front of the class. Still though, I do have a lot to master, and only time will allow for that...actually, the essay I'm procrastinating from right now is for that class, just as a reference.

AP US History is proving to be one of my most difficult classes, (what am I saying? They're all difficult!) just because I despise classes that are heavily based on textbook reading and self-teaching, but my teacher is one of the coolest educators I've ever had in my life. She's just very clearly passionate about what she does, which is very, very refreshing. I think a lot of teachers become jaded as their work becomes more calloused to them, but she's still totally obsessed with American history after years of lecturing it. That's good at least. I can't really say the same for my PreCalc teacher though, and because I have a 90 minute block of it every other day directly after Physics, which is just overflowing with an obscene amount of math, albeit very basic algebra, my brain is fried before lunchtime.

I'd go on to talk about my Creative Writing class, my writing tutoring position, and how my third consecutive year of French is going, but I don't want to bore you all and assume you care about school. Basically the jist is this: school is hard, but I don't totally hate it yet. The workload sucks, but once I pick up my slack, everything will fall into place.

In Internet news: NaNoWriMo and VidCon. First: I REALLY do not know whether or not to do NaNo this year. I won last year, and I really want to give it another go and suffer through noveling with all of my web-based friends, but I might not have the time. However, after watching Kristina Horner's latest video about being a superhero and writing like a real author, I so feel pretty empowered. I'll probably end of succumbing to the torture by Halloween. Are YOU doing it?

And then, last but not least: VIDCON. I'm not going. I don't have the money, I don't have the resources, and frankly, I don't really care. I really wish I could've been at the inaugural VidCon in Summer of 2010, when everything was fairly consolidated, fresh, and new, but after seeing the videos from it, I just don't think I'd have that much fun. It just seems really, I dunno...hypocritical? I mean, the goal is to bring the whole COMMUNITY together, yet the give the bigger name YouTubers VIP badges, literally putting them on a pedestal above the rest of the attendees. And that's fine, they deserve recognition for their hard work, but I just feel like when there's a line three miles out the door just to meet and pose with Charlie McDonnell, it's no longer "YouTube: where we can ALL broadcast ourselves", it's a big celebrity following for people that should just be treated regularly. I dunno, I'm probably just cynical, and if you've been, I'm sure that's not the case, but I really don't want to spend all that time and money on something that just might prove me right. Opinions, I haz em.

Anyway, it feels great to blog again, and I'm not making any promises, but I'll probably be back later this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go secure a ride for something I'm doing on Saturday, so I'm gonna go. Bye!

Until next time,
Lauren

PS: totally not proofreading this...oh well!

This is What Dreeeeeams Are Made Of

Hey guys. So let's get the whole nostalgia thing out of the way: oh my gosh, August is almost over, so sad, loved every moment of it, whatever, whatever.

Today was a pretty good mix of productive and fun, which is always great. My friend Morgan came over to the house and we worked on schoolwork for a good hour or two, which made it a lot easier to tackle. I'm not done with it all yet, but I did do more than I would have if I was by myself. Then I went to get retail therapy at the mall with Morgan and my other friend Julia, who's currently reading this over my shoulder and giving me a massage. She's a keeper.

Normally, I feel bad about spending ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and makeup, but it was my birthday money, so I don't mind splurging...that much. I'm still a little bit sickened that I spent nearly $40 on makeup. Especially because it was foundation, powder, and some brushes. Oh well, it is what it is.

Now we're at Julia's house, eating junk food and watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie, so I'm a little bit preoccupied, to say the least. We're nearing the Lizzie and Gordo plane montage, meaning shit is about to get serious, if you don't remember the plot. And, y'know, it's 11:56, so I should probably wrap this up. I feel bad that this is my last BEDA post and it kind of sucks, but y'know, reminiscing about Disney movies and laughing at Kate Sander's hilariously bad insults is a perfectly valid excuse to blow off writing a good, eloquent blog post. Peace.

And don't worry, I'll probably blog about my first day of school, which is on the 6th. Awesome...

Until next time,

Lauren